Games You Can Win

Being calm is the biggest asset on the road to gaining some awareness of our opportunities to make choices. I like the word agitation for the state of body and mind we usually find ourselves in. It brings to mind the agitator in a washing machine that keeps things tumbling around, in motion, and mixed up. This isn’t a bad bit of imagery for the physical and mental state in which we are often stuck (and emotional. Is emotional separate from those two?). We agitate ourselves by worrying about the future, replaying the past, consuming food or media … it’s a long list. Here’s what I think is our biggest stumbling block though - we avoid being still.

The central practice in the Zen tradition I come from is called zazen. I linked to a short video of my teacher talking about his understanding of it. The quickest summation I can give: sit still and comfortably upright, breathe naturally, allow thoughts to arise and disappear without engaging or holding on to them. There are many facets to this radically simple act, and many ways to understand it. It is an act of allowing yourself to become calm. No matter how agitated your body and mind are when you begin, the act of sitting still and choosing not to identify with your thinking naturally leads to some settling down (Often. Not always. If you don’t have this experience it’s not because you’re doing it wrong or because there is something wrong with you. Trust me, please. I’ll write about this at some length in the future).

The central practice of Alexander Technique doesn’t really have one name that everyone uses. I’m going to call it active rest for now. My simplest description: lie on the floor on your back with your head supported comfortably by a few paperback books, rest your hands on your abdomen and point your knees at the sky with your feet flat on the floor. Breathe naturally. Allow your body to release unnecessary tension. Accept (but don’t try for!)freedom in your neck, length in your spine, width in your back.

In the venn diagram of zazen and active rest there’s a pretty decent area of overlap. For what I’m trying to teach myself, they’re pretty good equivalents of the Collar Grab Game. As long as I do them, I can’t really fail at either one, I get a very nice reward, and they are about as fundamental as activity gets. Crucially, I’m still and distractions are minimized. This offers the opportunity to engage with choices we usually fly right past in our daily lives. For example:

  • breathing

  • thinking (it feels insane to simplify this to one item on a list but I’m going to for now)

  • tension in the neck

  • shortening or lengthening of my spine

  • squeezing or widening of my back

Take a few minutes and try one or both of these practices. Don’t try to do them well or correctly. See if you can set aside any expectations you have about what they’ll be like. You’re just playing the Collar Grab Game with yourself. Sit or lie down quietly, you get a treat. The end.